The Hollywood Ninja and Co.
I wasn’t sure what to expect given that every day in Hollywood is like Halloween. I imagined a scene akin to the Gay Pride Parade combined with costumes from all of the annoying reality television shows that are all the rage. I imagined drunken revelry, public indecency and angry Jehovah’s witnesses trying to save us all with Sharpy-scrawled messages on placards. I imagined conflagrations aplenty. I was correct on many counts (save for the fire), but oh, there was so much more at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival 2009 and beyond…
Father Pervy and The Naked Cowboy. Giddyup
(The real Naked Cowboy looks more like a blonde Billy Ray Cyrus…oh, and he sells t-shirts, CDs and hand-painted guitars…of course he does.)
Our group consisted of M the jailbird, Deutsch as Father Pervy (and yes, those are fishnets) and Christine and Joey as Yoko and John. With road pops in hand, we made our way to the Halloween Carnival on the portion of Santa Monica blocked off for the party. It’s best that I not describe what I saw, but rather share with you visual aids. Only then can you fully appreciate the bevy of costumes and the creativity of the crazy Halloween-goers in LA LA.
Scrabble innuendo
The male Latino version of Amy Winehouse
Yoko and John -WAR IS OVER!
One pair of about 2 million gay-shas at the carnival
Sassy jailbird M guilty of? Breakin' hearts...
Trained killer extraordinaire (i.e., me) wielding foam nun chucks
I also had a plastic sword that I kept dropping every 20 steps and overall, misplaced my weaponry on a regular basis. My inability to keep these items close was one of the reasons why I was deemed The Worst Ninja Ever. One of the other reasons was because I ran from a perverted priest (yes, there were others on the loose besides Father Pervy) who chased me down the sidewalk with his vestments pulled to his waist. All I could hear was the Jailbird’s voice, “Run, Ninja, run!” And so I did.
However, I did have a few moments of sword play with other ninjas and a few samarai whether they wanted to or not, I climbed and trimmed trees and I had all of my accoutrement in hand when I came home on Saturday night..or rather early Sunday morning. Kudos to The Best Ninja Ever.
Non sequitur
As we were driving down Santa Monica, M asked me if Halloween in Chicago is anything like the spectacle in LA. The answer? Nope, not even close. The droves of people combing the streets and bars were nothing like Chicago where people dress up, but aren’t quite as religious about it. That, and it was 70 degrees, which tends to make people more apt to play than the gray, 40-degree weather in Chicago. Ah, it’s good to finally be free of my Vitamin D deficiency compliments of a glorious sun and the Swiss cheese-esque ozone.
So my first Halloween in LA was festive, fun and I was able to wear the ninja costume that I love so much. In fact, if there wasn’t a risk of being institutionalized and subjected to electroshock therapy, I’d dress like a ninja every day—even Christmas.
