The Laid-Off Peripatetic (LOP)

I’m not sure if I’m in the midst of a mid-life crisis or a career change or both. Though my Mom fears the worst and has already found a job for me at the Dodge City Casino either slinging drinks to drunken rednecks or serving fried chicken and ’slaw to men fresh from work at the meat packing plant. (Completely pointless factoid: Dodge City, KS, is known as the meat-packing capital of the United States. A lofty title to be sure, but one to which I’d rather not be associated.)

As tempting as either of those occupations sound, I’ve opted to stay in LA. Call me crazy.

Nature's fertilizer...Praise to the bovine!

My foray into the world of the free has given me insight into other financial opportunities besides sitting at a desk listening to the rants of an inept, probably impotent boss with a goiter. That’s not to say I plan on robbing a Gas N’ Sip or mugging a Girl Scout; though if I could unleash my potential as an alchemist, life would be stellar. Some way, somehow, I will make millions this year and when I do, I’m heading to either Hawaii, Cote de Azure or the Caribbean to buy my first seaside villa. I imagine it will look something like this little gem.

If I like you, you are welcome to use the guest bedroom, my tequila chair and snorkel equipment

Of course I could always buy out the Dodge City, KS, casino—as one of the few sources of entertainment in an idyllic town, it might just be a cash cow.

Ha! I kill me…