The Laid-Off Peripatetic (LOP)

Today was a noteworthy day in the city of LA because according to STORM WATCH 2009, the rains pounding the city were the heaviest in October’s history. Warnings were issued for drivers and the fire department was called to sweep away water that had leaked into an old folks home. This ghastly display of Ma Nature’s raw power had the potential to dismantle the city leaving only the residents with access to a giant ark alive. (Okay, the last sentence might be a bit sensational—my thinly veiled attempt at upping the ante for FOX.)

But in truth, the rain was a glorified drizzle. When it actually rained, the scene was more of a lazy, just-cleansing-your-skies-of-acid kind of action. Never was it heavy or threatening; but instead, perfect for a hangover day—or in M’s case, a sick day.

So today I laugh a little at the expense of the Californians who are acting as though ham hocks are falling from the sky. I’m sure living in the desert doesn’t prepare residents for inclement weather, but that fact doesn’t make the collective hyperventilating happening across the city any less funny.

Though, one legitimate worry does exist for some. The first rain after a massive fire can, and usually does, cause mudslides. But, that aspect of the story wasn’t included until the end of the news coverage. Of course, it wasn’t.

The deluge of ham hocks is expected to continue all day tomorrow. I can only assume that school will be canceled, offices will shut down and those brave enough to cross rushing gutters will be wearing waders. They’ll be stiletto, bejeweled waders, though—after all, this is LA.

A dollop of ?